Coding, coding, coding ....

Starting today -- until Friday -- our guest speaker is Dr Cheryl Geisler who penned a hard-to-read-and-understand-book called Analyzing Streams of Language (love the title, though! And you are welcome to click on the link just in case you want your own copy!).  Basically, she talks about breaking down language until smaller components:  t-units, clauses, phrases, sentence, paragraph, etc.  The huge assumption behind coding verbal data is that what people say and write (or even fail to say or write) can tell us something about underlying phenomena.  This underlying phenomena can occur in multiple dimensions.  Geisler used the "tip of the iceberg"/ Titanic metaphor with us this morning -- my  goal as a researcher is to figure out what is "below" the language.  Can I "see" what is going on?  My huge confusion had to do with my data -- am I trying to code for how well the student essays reflect the goals of a "good" essay or am I trying to code for how the students saw themselves in terms of racial hierarchies?

After freaking out this morning about how to interpret this data (14 students, two sections of ENG 101, 5 essays each), I ran over to the local Subway (so far the cheapest eat in this expensive town) and bumped into Chuck Bazerman (one of the central facilitators and thinkers here at the seminar).  We ended up having this great discussion on a bench on the sidewalk about my actual intent/ research question (all the while, though, I was kicking myself that I didn't have anything to write notes on!).  I am not sure how to describe this sensation I experienced for just a moment or so but I had this intense moment of clarification where I could "see" the end of my project, sort of like one of those cinematic moments where a protagonist sees herself somewhere in the future.  Perhaps my call in this life is to be the compositionist guru of all things theme-related!

But I am getting a little head of myself!  Chuck asked me, as we sat on that bench, what it was that I wanted to discover with my research.  I explained the dilemma I outlined above and then Chuck asked me what would happen if those two questions "got married"?  What would their child look like?

Aha!  So now I have a revised research question:  What happens to student writing when the topic is something complicated and "touchy" like race?

The next struggle, then, is how do I go about coding?  I just finished my private meeting with Dr Geisler a few minutes ago and I walked away with one concrete "fact."  She suggested that I look at "claims" -- since I am coding an introductory paragraph from an early essay and then a later essay, can I detect how students are struggling with "claims"?  Are they self-attributing claims or shifting that attribution to others or not reflecting any attribution at all?  This would represent one category that I could code for.  In addition, I have made of list of some "movements" that I have noticed already in the two students I am focusing on -- confidence in word choice, sentence and punctuation length/ variety, and audience awareness.  My confusion now is what categories I should run with ... and Dr Geisler wants me to do this for 6 students by tomorrow.  And somehow master Excel in the process.  Eeek!

The Dartmouth Summer Seminar

So ... this time I am truly back -- promise!  Without a doubt, I have been struggling with the very word and concept that makes up the title of this blog -- my dissertation!  So let me be 100% clear about my goal -- I will be finished with the bulk of this sucker by December.  The end.

So now the big question, of course, is how do I get there?  Well, I took a big step the last few days.  At this moment, I am sitting in a quiet room at Dartmouth College in Hanover, NH.  Yep, "that" Dartmouth! A few months back I applied for the Composition and Rhetoric Summer Seminar (held here since, as most Comp/Rhet folks know, one of the pivotal moments in the history of our discipline happened right here in 1966: The infamous Dartmouth Seminar!).  Anyway -- this seminar is set up to help researchers in the field get their "stuff" (whatever that might be -- in my case, a dissertation!) published/ completed.  The cool part of this whole experience (besides the cool "being at Dartmouth" factor) is the opportunity to network with some pretty cool colleagues and famous folks in our field (Charles Bazerman, Christiane Donahue, Chris Anson, Les Perlman, Cheryl Geisler, etc).  Oh -- and lots of time to work on our projects (of which, by the way, we have to give a public presentation of next Friday, the last day of the two week seminar!).  Today is the second day of the seminar and I have already gotten a huge dose of  "what is research anyway" and lots of into on literature reviews (a key component of almost any research project).

I am not staying in the dorm like my other 21 colleagues but, instead, living out at a cabin on an organic farm about 35 miles from Hanover.  The cons?  I don't get the chance to hang out with my new friends here but .... I am managing to use my down time (as limited as it is) to completely focus on my dissertation (and writing).  Jim is playing the role of the house husband (cleaner and chef) and my job is to just write and study.  At this point, I am imagining that Jim thinks this is going to be a long two weeks but ... we will just have to wait and see what happens!  Unfortunately, our rental does not have the promised wi-fi so Jim is pretty cut off from "civilization" and to make things worse, we get no phone service out in the woods!

A huge part of being diligent in getting the dissertastion done is going to be this blog, this artifact that will detail the "blood, sweat, and tears" of the most important six months of my life.

So day one and two:  This image shows the visual work I did in session this morning to clarify exactly what represents the "beating heart" of my study.  As you can see from this image, I am talking about the "exchange" (not the "debate") between Maxine Hairston and James Berlin.  Though I sort of knew this "fact" about my research, I think I needed this "friendly reminder" of what it is that I am trying to do:

As you can see, Hairston and Berlin represent the center.  The "exchange" that they had about the theory of what a composition class should "be like/ look like" serves as the center point of talking about (1) using themes in FYC, (2) using race as a theme of FYC, and (3) the presence of politics in FYC.  The picture above shows some of my most important reference works/ articles and how they "fit" into this puzzle that I have created.

So that was a big step for me, mostly on an emotional level.  This (see above) is what I want to do.  I think what I am trying to say is that the Hairston/ Berlin exchange serves as the point at which my study/ dissertation is the emperical "test" of what these two folks were arguing about.  So what happens when you place politics/ race/ social concerns as the center point/ organizing feature of a typical first-year writing class?  My data -- I think -- will show one possibility.

Well, I need to get going now -- on to a Library Tour -- but I warning any readers that I might have that this blog is about to get all dissertat-y!  I hope some of you will stick around for the ride!

Dianna's Back!

A short blog update tonight!  I am back ... but just for a moment today.  I have been in a bit of a funk lately but I want to use this blog to show how I am working myself out of that funk.  First things first -- I am working furiously on the dissertation (more on that tomorrow).  To get this blog up to date, though, I just updated my reading and my race results on the pages at the top (look above this entry).  I teach two super long classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays during the summer but I will make sure to take the time and jump on here in the evening.  I have missed talking to so many people!

Krystal

... and then she was gone.

This past Friday, I spent the entire morning working with students prepare their portfolios for the communal portfolio grading that we do with Basic Writing students (these are folks who were placed in developmental English and they are trying to get to ENG 101, a requirement for most degree programs).  Let me just say that working with this particular group of students is often challenging but rewarding in a way that is different than my college level students.  Basic Writing students come to the class with all kinds of "problems" -- most centered around the fact that they have struggled in school before coming to SWIC.  But the cool advantage is that I get to witness huge leaps forward with this group of students.  I honestly believe a part of my job is to motivate students to grasp their educational opportunities (and so many of them come from family backgrounds where this has not been an important value).  While students in any class that I teach can make significant progress, there is something "different" about what happens in Basic Writing.  Many students realize for the first time in their lives that they are, in fact, students.  And it's this realization that makes my job one of the best ones in the entire world.

This past semester has been hard.  I recognize that I say this same statement at the end of almost every semester but this last one was seriously challenging.  From a personal perspective, I am still struggling with hot flashes and gas (leftovers from the hysterectomy) and feeling like I am the worst dissertation writer on this planet.  I  come home from teaching with no motivation to write.  I haven't been able to shake any of the weight I have gained in the past year.  I know that number on the scale doesn't define who I am but ... I still struggle with it.  From a professional perspective, I have had "issues" with students in all of my classes this term; it's like every class had that one person who couldn't stand me and exhibited an attitude that made teaching (and learning) hard.  Also -- this semester saw the end of our honors program so I was feeling emotionally drained from that as well and it felt like all semester I was running a few days behind myself as far as planning, reading, and evaluating.

One of the students I worked with this semester was Krystal.  She came to SWIC after attending a for- profit school in which she was not able to obtain secure employment after completing her studies. Krystal decided that she wanted to be a registered nurse.  In the cover letter she recently wrote for her portfolio assessment, she said, "I know I have a long way to get my degree; still I'm anxious to get there."  (and notice how she used a semi-colon there? -- one editing skill we worked on this semester was eliminating periods and using alternative sentence boundary marks!).

This past Friday, Krystal came to my office to turn in her portfolio (which would be assessed on Saturday, the next day).  Krystal was super excited about her chances of being placed into ENG 101.  I can't tell you how many times she was in my office over the last 16 weeks.  As she noted in her cover letter, "I am looking forward to going into my next English class ... I feel that I can be specific and organize all my thoughts together as a good writer should."  Krystal asked me to reread her cover letter one more time and we sat there and chatted about some minor changes.  As she was leaving, she turned around and commented, "I hope you will be here early on Monday morning.  I want to be one of the first people in your office to find out how I did!"  She waved her hand at me and then she was gone.

Krystal died in a car accident at 3 AM on Saturday morning, leaving her three year old daughter motherless and her friends and family shocked and sad.  In one of the essays she included in her portfolio, Krystal ended with the following comment: "The inspiring affirmations I have hung up in my bedroom give me hope that I can make it and conquer all my dreams."  I am so sad that Krystal will not be able to live out those words.  I know she meant what she said -- and I know that she would have done just that.

I'm just not sure how I will react tomorrow morning when I walk into my office and Krystal is not there to pick up her portfolio in which one one of the readers remarked, "Clearly 101 level.  You are a strong writer and organize your essays well.  Good luck with your future academic goals!"

I miss her.

Here I am!

So here I am at the end of April and I have not been updating this blog on a regular basis at all!  :<

I know that writing here is a positive step in writing my dissertation.  Just writing a few words a day helps me get into that all-important writing "groove."

So what is going on in my life at this very moment?!  Last week, I participated in the first virtual seminar for the Dartmouth Seminar that I will be attending in NH from July 30-August 10.  As usual, I left the experience feeling like a total dork, thinking that my research is nothing compared to the other people involved in the seminar.  I just don't think I am very good at explaining -- on the spot -- what it is that I am trying to do with my dissertation research (and maybe this is because I am a terrible public speaker and I am not 100% sure of what I am trying to do anyway).

Other than the Dartmouth stuff, my head is also focused on the last two weeks of the Spring 2012 semester here at SWIC.  This week, in fact, is the last full week of the semester and I have a "to do" list that is a mile long!

Running wise I am struggling (just did another 5K yesterday) but right now my head needs to be wrapped around dissertation "stuff" -- not running.  I do have a few races coming up but I promised myself that I would limit myself to just a few events and, instead, concentrate on writing.

And with those words, I need to hop off this blog and start doing some work.  I will be back soon!

Do you all remember me?!

How in the world did it get to April 12th already?!?!

So first -- yes, indeed, I am alive.

Second, I am still trying to catch up from all the fun of helping to organize the 4C's Conference in March (4C's - Conference on College Composition and Communication, the professional organization for college writing teachers!). The conference was held just a block or two from our place downtown and I was pretty busy as part of the local committee (but don't get me wrong -- it was a great opportunity to help an organization that has helped me so much!).

Right now, I have about 5-6 weeks until the end of the semester so I am super busy on the teacher front. And, on top of that, I have little jobs to complete for the 2012 Dartmouth Summer Seminar for Composition Research (to be held in Hanover, NH, from July 30-August 10). This seminar will help me -- I think! -- in getting this dissertation done and completed by the end of this year. I am struggling the most with my theoretical framework and methodology and it looks like the seminar will offer a lot of help and direction (from famous folks in the field). The only negative (sort of) is that there are tons of readings and virtual meetings that take place before we even step foot in Dartmouth.

And one more "new" scheduling issue -- physical therapy. I finally had an MRI done on my back and we discovered four issues -- arthritis, bursitis in my left hip, muscle strain, and a bulging disc. Fun, eh? I just started going to PT two times a week and the therapist said that some of this was bound to happen at some point because (according to their tests) I have a weak back and core. So now I get to spend my mornings and evening doing about a million exercises (some of them rather hard) trying to get my lower back and hip back on friendly terms with me.

Sometimes I shy away from this blog because I think I am failing at completing my dissertation and I am just afraid to admit this. But you know what? I need to be more constant here -- writing something in this blog often bleeds over to me writing something dissertation-related.

Except at this moment -- now I have to go teach a few classes! :D

Guess Who is Back?

Well, here it is nearly the end of February and ... well ... my dissertation is not going so well. I guess the biggest issue at hand here is the fact that I teach writing FT and that takes an awful lot of energy. By the time I have finished a typical day in which I have taught class, tutored a bunch of students face-to-face to work on their writing, and then "attacked" papers and projects from all of my classes, I am honestly tired and not even close to being motivated enough to sit down.

And maybe writing would be easier if there weren't other "issues" -- I am not sure what is going on with my body but I am experiencing some difficulties with my lower back and my legs in general. I though that last year, just as I was finishing treatment, was my "rough year" in terms of getting back into exercising but it seems as if this year is much worse. My back is hurting a lot of the time -- anytime that I make a move that is a bit off balance, bam! There it is! I have even noticed that at work I am starting to feel my back a bit more, making it harder for me to get down on my knees to help students on the computer (and yoga is nearly impossible right now). My running times are way off and I am gaining weight (mostly because I am not working out as much as I usually do).

And then there is the 4C's conference coming up for March 21-25. Don't get me wrong -- I am absolutely delighted that I have been able to help as much as I have been doing -- it's just that I didn't know how much work I was getting myself into. Luckily, a lot of the prep work for the conference is done now (I have a few documents to proofread for a March 1 deadline). Things will be much crazier once the conference arrives, but for now. Just waiting for the hoards of nice folks who will be hanging out downtown!

So here is one positive step in ferociously attacking "the diss." With Jim's support, we switched our TV room with our living room/ reading room. So that means Jim has lost his "man cave" for now. This way, I can spread out the enormous amount of articles I have accumulated and start getting the damn thing done.

I'm not sure what has been going on with me lately. My body feels as tired as my mind. I know a part of it is that I can't call my pal, Les, the one person who has been there for 20 years in guiding me toward this dissertation (he died just over a year ago). I have great support from friends, Jim, and Dr M (advisor extraordinaire!) but something in me has just not been "on."

Well, that is about to change. Even writing here is enough to get me a tad bit more motivated. Watch out world -- here she comes!