Saturday Blues

I only have time for a quick update today .... still working on my category definitions.  Just when I thought I was doing OK with them, I found -- as I was working with new data -- that my definitions don't quite work.  So, back to the drawing board ... drat!

In good news, though, I had a fabulous lunch with my new pals and I had a fun meeting with Les Perelman, our new expert guest here at rhet/ comp camp!

Tomorrow?  Jim and I are heading to the coast (and, hopefully, Maine!) for a day off (away from Dartmouth).  The fun will continue on Monday!

One More Day of Coding!

So let me tell you what happened last night!

Before I left campus to drive back to our cabin, I met with Dr Bazerman one more time to talk about my work yesterday in terms of defining the categories I want to use in breaking down (coding) the essays (that make up my data).  By the end of our conversation, I could feel the tears welling up ("Don't cry!  Don't cry!")  My categories weren't working.  There was something else more complicated going on behind the language of what the students were saying and my almost desperate attempts at making my categories fit just wasn't working.  I think I knew this "fact" before I was willing to open up about the possibility of starting all over:

The frustrating part was that I knew it wasn't working but I felt like I had so much invested in all of the work I had been doing for the last two days with Dr Giesler -- my God, it had to work!  So I decided to do something crazy before I left campus.  I made a Word Document with all the sentences that I am trying to code (about 24 paragraphs total) and I cut each one into a separate slip of paper.  When I got back to the cabin last night, I put them into new piles -- which words/ thoughts/ sentences went together? (this is something I have done with my own students so I tried to take my own advice!)

By the wee hours of the night, I had organized most of the strips into "piles" and ended up with a bunch of papers (where I transferred the paper strips) that looked something like this:

I then took these papers/ piles and created a completely new list of category definitions.  One category was similar to what I had yesterday but the others are new, based on how the sentences were "talking to me."  I managed to finally get some sleep, by the way, but I was up early to get back to campus so let's just say Dianna is in need of some serious sleep!

This morning we had to share some of our data (in Excel workbooks) and then give both the data segment and the definition to a second coder (in my case, the fabulous Mel!).  When I got it back from her, my percentage of agreement (between how I coded and how she coded) was 30%.  Not good!  But -- we had a great discussion on how she interpreted my definitions (e.g. two of my categories were basically asking for the same thing).  I need to make sure that (1) I am coding the way that I am asking others to code and (2) that I say exactly what I want to say in each of the category definitions.

I just had my last meeting with Dr Geisler before she leaves (our next guest-in-residence and noted composition leader, Les Perelman, is already here and will be starting tomorrow!).  She liked what I had done with all the paper (or maybe she thought I was crazy?) and she ended the conversation by telling me that I should stick with the one dimension (coding for racial consciousness) instead of going forward with two (I was going to add a dimension about coding for essay quality).  She said that this is a great discussion but would work as a great post-dissertation article.  I still need to have a long talk with the amazing Dr M about this but I like the idea of not having to add this complexity (though I think I might be able to address this issue without getting all nitty gritty with the coding and breaking every sentence down).

We have one more group meeting at 3 PM and then I am out of here.  I will be back in the morning for the optional Saturday workshop (some great stuff on rhetorical analysis!) but I need a break tonight.  Maybe I can convince Jim that we need to find a great place to eat!

Coding My Segments

Another "wow" moment happened late yesterday afternoon.  As you all know, I have been struggling with two "dimensions" in terms of what I want to code -- essay level qualities and racial consciousness qualities.  I have tweaked my big research question to ask something like, "What happens to student writing when the topic of the FYC is complicated -- like race?"  Well, here is yet another question that came up in discussions with my colleagues here -- a great question that I want to use!  "Are certain schemata in my racial consciousness dimension related to the quality of the student essay?"  I love this question and I honestly don't think that I would have been able to come up with this direction on my own.  This question came out as a result of talking with Dr Geiser and my fellow colleagues here (the discussions at this seminar, by the way, have been awesome!  Everyone's projects are great and makes me feel hopeful and optimistic about the direction of our field as a whole!)

Last night our homework was to break down some data (in my case, the first and fourth essays of 6 students) and get this into an Excel spreadsheet.  This morning, we talked about how to actually "code" the data itself: "Placing data into categories along a single dimension according to some decision making rules" (from my notes when Geisler was talking).  Basically, we needed to learn exactly "how" to make definitions that we can use to code the data we segmented last night (and these definitions will be in flux as we work our way through the data; the most important goal is to make sure that we are using reliable categories).

As you can see from above, our data needs to be broken down into a category, followed by a clear definition.  Next I need to think about cases and examples.  The goal here is to make sure that other folks can go through my data and make the same connections using my definitions.  I will end up having two broad "dimensions" (I think!) so I decided to start with the racial consciousness aspect.  Here is what I have as just a few examples of this morning's work:

***************************************************************************************

Dimension 1:  Racial Consciousness in FYC Writers

Color Blind Writer:

Definition:  Code as “Color Blind Writer” any clause (sentence) which references being unattached from racial acknowledgement, prejudice or bias.

“Color Blind” may include instances where the speaker …

• ·         refers to the idea of not seeing/ recognizing people in terms of racial identity, e.g. “I don’t see race.”
• ·         mentions terminology such as “color blind” or “we are all human” when talking about her/his personal beliefs.

Emerging Thinker/ Writer:     

Definition:  Code as “Emerging Thinker/ Writer” any clause (sentence) in which the writer recognizes the complexity of racial issues and can offer no easy solutions.

“Emerging Thinker/ Writer” may include instances where the speaker …

• ·         refers to the idea that race offers no easy solutions, e.g. “It’s important to choose our words carefully.”
• ·         refers to race as a concept that is complicated and not easily talked about (or solved).
• ·         refers to surprise, shock, or strong emotion in reaction to another person’s racial perception, e.g. “That was my first time seeing race.”

***************************************************************************************

Of course, nothing here is written in stone (yet).  This morning I thought I had started with 8 racial consciousness categories and, as I work my way through these 6 students I am coding, I now am up to 10 (maybe 11).  I have an individual (and then a group) meeting with Dr Geisler later this afternoon and another individual conference with Dr Bazerman at 4:30.  

And don't get me started with my new arch enemy ... Excel.   Today's homework is to code all six groups of data, continue tweaking my definitions, and try to figure how in the hell to use Excel.  But ... at least I get to do these tasks in the middle of gorgeous weather here in Dartmouth in a beautiful library setting!

Coding, coding, coding ....

Starting today -- until Friday -- our guest speaker is Dr Cheryl Geisler who penned a hard-to-read-and-understand-book called Analyzing Streams of Language (love the title, though! And you are welcome to click on the link just in case you want your own copy!).  Basically, she talks about breaking down language until smaller components:  t-units, clauses, phrases, sentence, paragraph, etc.  The huge assumption behind coding verbal data is that what people say and write (or even fail to say or write) can tell us something about underlying phenomena.  This underlying phenomena can occur in multiple dimensions.  Geisler used the "tip of the iceberg"/ Titanic metaphor with us this morning -- my  goal as a researcher is to figure out what is "below" the language.  Can I "see" what is going on?  My huge confusion had to do with my data -- am I trying to code for how well the student essays reflect the goals of a "good" essay or am I trying to code for how the students saw themselves in terms of racial hierarchies?

After freaking out this morning about how to interpret this data (14 students, two sections of ENG 101, 5 essays each), I ran over to the local Subway (so far the cheapest eat in this expensive town) and bumped into Chuck Bazerman (one of the central facilitators and thinkers here at the seminar).  We ended up having this great discussion on a bench on the sidewalk about my actual intent/ research question (all the while, though, I was kicking myself that I didn't have anything to write notes on!).  I am not sure how to describe this sensation I experienced for just a moment or so but I had this intense moment of clarification where I could "see" the end of my project, sort of like one of those cinematic moments where a protagonist sees herself somewhere in the future.  Perhaps my call in this life is to be the compositionist guru of all things theme-related!

But I am getting a little head of myself!  Chuck asked me, as we sat on that bench, what it was that I wanted to discover with my research.  I explained the dilemma I outlined above and then Chuck asked me what would happen if those two questions "got married"?  What would their child look like?

Aha!  So now I have a revised research question:  What happens to student writing when the topic is something complicated and "touchy" like race?

The next struggle, then, is how do I go about coding?  I just finished my private meeting with Dr Geisler a few minutes ago and I walked away with one concrete "fact."  She suggested that I look at "claims" -- since I am coding an introductory paragraph from an early essay and then a later essay, can I detect how students are struggling with "claims"?  Are they self-attributing claims or shifting that attribution to others or not reflecting any attribution at all?  This would represent one category that I could code for.  In addition, I have made of list of some "movements" that I have noticed already in the two students I am focusing on -- confidence in word choice, sentence and punctuation length/ variety, and audience awareness.  My confusion now is what categories I should run with ... and Dr Geisler wants me to do this for 6 students by tomorrow.  And somehow master Excel in the process.  Eeek!

The Dartmouth Summer Seminar

So ... this time I am truly back -- promise!  Without a doubt, I have been struggling with the very word and concept that makes up the title of this blog -- my dissertation!  So let me be 100% clear about my goal -- I will be finished with the bulk of this sucker by December.  The end.

So now the big question, of course, is how do I get there?  Well, I took a big step the last few days.  At this moment, I am sitting in a quiet room at Dartmouth College in Hanover, NH.  Yep, "that" Dartmouth! A few months back I applied for the Composition and Rhetoric Summer Seminar (held here since, as most Comp/Rhet folks know, one of the pivotal moments in the history of our discipline happened right here in 1966: The infamous Dartmouth Seminar!).  Anyway -- this seminar is set up to help researchers in the field get their "stuff" (whatever that might be -- in my case, a dissertation!) published/ completed.  The cool part of this whole experience (besides the cool "being at Dartmouth" factor) is the opportunity to network with some pretty cool colleagues and famous folks in our field (Charles Bazerman, Christiane Donahue, Chris Anson, Les Perlman, Cheryl Geisler, etc).  Oh -- and lots of time to work on our projects (of which, by the way, we have to give a public presentation of next Friday, the last day of the two week seminar!).  Today is the second day of the seminar and I have already gotten a huge dose of  "what is research anyway" and lots of into on literature reviews (a key component of almost any research project).

I am not staying in the dorm like my other 21 colleagues but, instead, living out at a cabin on an organic farm about 35 miles from Hanover.  The cons?  I don't get the chance to hang out with my new friends here but .... I am managing to use my down time (as limited as it is) to completely focus on my dissertation (and writing).  Jim is playing the role of the house husband (cleaner and chef) and my job is to just write and study.  At this point, I am imagining that Jim thinks this is going to be a long two weeks but ... we will just have to wait and see what happens!  Unfortunately, our rental does not have the promised wi-fi so Jim is pretty cut off from "civilization" and to make things worse, we get no phone service out in the woods!

A huge part of being diligent in getting the dissertastion done is going to be this blog, this artifact that will detail the "blood, sweat, and tears" of the most important six months of my life.

So day one and two:  This image shows the visual work I did in session this morning to clarify exactly what represents the "beating heart" of my study.  As you can see from this image, I am talking about the "exchange" (not the "debate") between Maxine Hairston and James Berlin.  Though I sort of knew this "fact" about my research, I think I needed this "friendly reminder" of what it is that I am trying to do:

As you can see, Hairston and Berlin represent the center.  The "exchange" that they had about the theory of what a composition class should "be like/ look like" serves as the center point of talking about (1) using themes in FYC, (2) using race as a theme of FYC, and (3) the presence of politics in FYC.  The picture above shows some of my most important reference works/ articles and how they "fit" into this puzzle that I have created.

So that was a big step for me, mostly on an emotional level.  This (see above) is what I want to do.  I think what I am trying to say is that the Hairston/ Berlin exchange serves as the point at which my study/ dissertation is the emperical "test" of what these two folks were arguing about.  So what happens when you place politics/ race/ social concerns as the center point/ organizing feature of a typical first-year writing class?  My data -- I think -- will show one possibility.

Well, I need to get going now -- on to a Library Tour -- but I warning any readers that I might have that this blog is about to get all dissertat-y!  I hope some of you will stick around for the ride!

Dianna's Back!

A short blog update tonight!  I am back ... but just for a moment today.  I have been in a bit of a funk lately but I want to use this blog to show how I am working myself out of that funk.  First things first -- I am working furiously on the dissertation (more on that tomorrow).  To get this blog up to date, though, I just updated my reading and my race results on the pages at the top (look above this entry).  I teach two super long classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays during the summer but I will make sure to take the time and jump on here in the evening.  I have missed talking to so many people!

Krystal

... and then she was gone.

This past Friday, I spent the entire morning working with students prepare their portfolios for the communal portfolio grading that we do with Basic Writing students (these are folks who were placed in developmental English and they are trying to get to ENG 101, a requirement for most degree programs).  Let me just say that working with this particular group of students is often challenging but rewarding in a way that is different than my college level students.  Basic Writing students come to the class with all kinds of "problems" -- most centered around the fact that they have struggled in school before coming to SWIC.  But the cool advantage is that I get to witness huge leaps forward with this group of students.  I honestly believe a part of my job is to motivate students to grasp their educational opportunities (and so many of them come from family backgrounds where this has not been an important value).  While students in any class that I teach can make significant progress, there is something "different" about what happens in Basic Writing.  Many students realize for the first time in their lives that they are, in fact, students.  And it's this realization that makes my job one of the best ones in the entire world.

This past semester has been hard.  I recognize that I say this same statement at the end of almost every semester but this last one was seriously challenging.  From a personal perspective, I am still struggling with hot flashes and gas (leftovers from the hysterectomy) and feeling like I am the worst dissertation writer on this planet.  I  come home from teaching with no motivation to write.  I haven't been able to shake any of the weight I have gained in the past year.  I know that number on the scale doesn't define who I am but ... I still struggle with it.  From a professional perspective, I have had "issues" with students in all of my classes this term; it's like every class had that one person who couldn't stand me and exhibited an attitude that made teaching (and learning) hard.  Also -- this semester saw the end of our honors program so I was feeling emotionally drained from that as well and it felt like all semester I was running a few days behind myself as far as planning, reading, and evaluating.

One of the students I worked with this semester was Krystal.  She came to SWIC after attending a for- profit school in which she was not able to obtain secure employment after completing her studies. Krystal decided that she wanted to be a registered nurse.  In the cover letter she recently wrote for her portfolio assessment, she said, "I know I have a long way to get my degree; still I'm anxious to get there."  (and notice how she used a semi-colon there? -- one editing skill we worked on this semester was eliminating periods and using alternative sentence boundary marks!).

This past Friday, Krystal came to my office to turn in her portfolio (which would be assessed on Saturday, the next day).  Krystal was super excited about her chances of being placed into ENG 101.  I can't tell you how many times she was in my office over the last 16 weeks.  As she noted in her cover letter, "I am looking forward to going into my next English class ... I feel that I can be specific and organize all my thoughts together as a good writer should."  Krystal asked me to reread her cover letter one more time and we sat there and chatted about some minor changes.  As she was leaving, she turned around and commented, "I hope you will be here early on Monday morning.  I want to be one of the first people in your office to find out how I did!"  She waved her hand at me and then she was gone.

Krystal died in a car accident at 3 AM on Saturday morning, leaving her three year old daughter motherless and her friends and family shocked and sad.  In one of the essays she included in her portfolio, Krystal ended with the following comment: "The inspiring affirmations I have hung up in my bedroom give me hope that I can make it and conquer all my dreams."  I am so sad that Krystal will not be able to live out those words.  I know she meant what she said -- and I know that she would have done just that.

I'm just not sure how I will react tomorrow morning when I walk into my office and Krystal is not there to pick up her portfolio in which one one of the readers remarked, "Clearly 101 level.  You are a strong writer and organize your essays well.  Good luck with your future academic goals!"

I miss her.